She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Mom said you looked used
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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