there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
