You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
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