Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
