tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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