how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
