Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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