Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
