i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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