Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
