she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
