i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
