Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
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Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
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how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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