it was like eating out sand paper
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
