Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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