Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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