I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Too much gin, very little bucket
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
