im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
