I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize