It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
