kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
