...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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