apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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