She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
This is classic penis vs brain.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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