the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
