HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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