I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
