Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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