i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
