hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
