dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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