Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
