There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
