Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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