I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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