I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
