You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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