I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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