I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
