this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize