i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
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He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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