She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
