he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
