Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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