dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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