I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
