Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
