I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
