Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.