And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
