Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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