Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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