Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
