its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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