My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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