just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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