Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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