chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
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You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
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I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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