Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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