On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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