There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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