Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
cat food counts as protein by the way
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
