Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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