Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
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You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
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Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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