He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
