I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she told me i tasted like america
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize