There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
MIDGETS
????
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
