I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
