What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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