I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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