what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
