So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
