What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
