I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
