So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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