can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
